Six ways to safety

Six+ways+to+safety

Sam Zattera, Commentary Editor

Head North, that’s your best bet. You could hit up Mexico, but it wouldn’t be all that much better. No, your best bet is Canada. Overseas would be good too, but for those of us who aren’t looking for that big of a change I’d say Canada. In which case, here’s a list of six excuses for finding yourself in “God’s Country” that you may want to keep in mind.

1. Family: If you’re fortunate enough to have one, a Canadian relative would help aid the process escaping. It may not serve as a long term solution, but it should buy you some time. I’d recommend contacting that second cousin sometime before November, you know, try and reestablish a link before you ask to move in.

2. School: It’s cheap, respected, and multi-cultural; college in Canada could be a great way to find the good in the bad. Not to mention you wouldn’t draw too much attention to yourself, and you would be leaving yourself with some options for the future.

3. Business: For those of you planning on skipping straight through college, Canada could be just as good a place as any to try your luck, plenty of big cities and booming business.

4. Vacation: Granted, this one’s a little flimsy, and time constraints may make it a bit tough, but if you were to be able to find ways to extend your stay, say, indefinitely, it could work. Besides, Canada is crawling with gorgeous scenery, people won’t take too much notice of your desire to stay a bit longer.

5. The wilderness: It may not be the easiest life once you’re there, but it is perhaps the easiest to find yourself in. For those of you lacking social grace it could be your best bet. Throw on your favorite red flannel, grab your axe, and just head out. After all, a life without people is a life without politicians.

6. Prison: Let’s face it: it may not be your best option, but if Trump does win, that will be more criminal than anyone you will meet in your Canadian cell.