The entire MHS student body has spent their February physically as well as emotionally preparing themselves for what they know to be the single greatest event of the year: viewing the finest senior male specimens MHS has to offer at the annual Man Pageant.
In fact, the guidance office has reported a dramatic increase in visits from students seeking to prepare themselves for “that much spandex.” Additionally, the aerobics bunker has suddenly experienced greater student use than … well… ever, as students seek to strengthen their respiratory systems in anticipation of unprecedented laughter.
For essentially anybody, anytime, anywhere, the event is the pinnacle of the year. Vice President, Ellie Crowell exclaimed, “this year’s pageant is going to be RIDICULOUS! Like, totally off the chain.” All signs seem to support Crowell’s claim − the pageant is believed to include extensive fireworks and extensive unicorns, as well as a lovely break-dancing interlude performed by the Social Studies department.
And while these sideshows sound amusing, the men are poised to outshine it all. Rumors have been flying regarding everything from the men’s’ wardrobes (Johnny Roche is expected to wear a Vera Wang original) to their refined talents (Jake Wargin is allegedly ballroom dancing). All of the gossip aside, The “Tantalizing Ten” are the prepared for the utter glory that awaits them today.