To whoever finds it difficult to converse anywhere other than in the middle of walking space,
Before you get mad, I totally understand why you do it. Classes are long and passing time is short. It’s the only opportunity ever to have discussions with people you haven’t seen in, like, fifty-five whole minutes.
But (take a seat, this next part might come as a surprise) there are students other than you that attend this school. About 3,000, actually. And some of these diligent pupils have been unlucky enough to receive a schedule that requires them to trek from music class (near the Arts Center) to the history wing (close to Pagel). Think about that!
Maybe it’s possible to cover that amount of ground in an empty school—but when the halls are clogged with people? It’s perilous on a good day. Once you throw hall-blockers into that equation, let’s just say that excrement will hit the rotating air-conditioning device.
Our hallways here in Skipper-land are nice and wide; there’s plenty of room for all scholars and professors to reach their desired destinations in a timely fashion as long as they all follow the unspoken hallway rules. Because I know they’re really hard to remember, please reference the following instructions for corridor etiquette.
I know, these rules seem incredibly complex. But until stud. gov. delivers super-cool technology that allows us to bend the laws of physics and pass through stationary objects, I truly believe that following these rules is necessary if you don’t want to be victim of my and most of your fellow peers’ wrath.
Walk to your next class as bravely as a Skipper navigates a boat into a harbor (our school mascot dosen’t lend itself well to simile). Make sure you walk briskly, avoiding complete disintegration into utter chaos and anarchy.
In dearest regards,
A Concerned Citizen