Here’s my take on summer 2014’s sports news:

June:

-Twins Lose (Again)

-Americans Care About Soccer For One Month

-Uruguay’s Luis Suarez Gets Hungry, Nibbles On Italian’s Shoulder

-Los Angeles, Where Winter Days Are A Frigid Sixty Degrees, Celebrates As Kings Win Hockey’s Stanley Cup

-Heat Play “Ice-Cold” In NBA Finals, Fall to Spurs

Ouch! Uruguay’s Luis Suarez chomps down on the shoulder of an Italian player during the 2014 World Cup. Photo courtesy of dailmail.co.uk. (Right)

July:

-Twins Lose (Again)

-USA Eliminated From World Cup; Nearly All Americans Lose Interest in Soccer

-Lebron James Leaves Miami Heat For Return To Cleveland

-Germany Scores Four Goals in Six Minutes vs. Brazil; Later Wins

World Cup vs. Argentina

-Minnesota Hosts MLB All-Star Game; Rest of America Checks Map to See Where Minnesota Is

-Italian, Vincenzo Nibali, Wins Tour de France

The official logo of the 2014 MLB All Star game this past July in Minneapolis. Photo courtesy of sportslogos.net (Bottom) . Vincenzo Nibali of Italy was overjoyed to cross the finish line to win the Tour de France. Photo courtesy of cyclingweekly.co.uk. (Top)

August:

-Twins Lose (Again)

-Timberwolves Trade Their Only Good Player

-Tour de Tonka attracts over Three-Thousand Participants; Minnetonka Junior, David Weinberg, Performs National Anthem on Trumpet Before The Race

-Vikings Actually Win Four Games In A Row

-Vikings’ Christian Ponder Has Great Preseason

Holding Clipboard On Sideline

-NBA’s Spurs Hire First Woman Assistant Coach

-People Pay Money to Stand Under a Scorching-Hot Sun For Hours To See Rory McIlroy Win Golf Tournament

-Racist Man Unwillingly Sells NBA Basketball Team For $2 Billion

-South Korea Defeats Illinois In Little League World Series

-Gophers Start Football Season With Win, Justifying TCF Bank Stadium’s $300 Million Price Tag

-WNBA’s Lynx Continue To Be Only Team in Minnesota With Hopes of Winning Championship

-Minnetonka Football Wins Thriller vs. Becker;  #StateChamps2014?

TOUCHDOWN! Rodney Smith of the Minnesota Vikings catches the winning pass from rookie quarterback Teddy Bridgewater to win against the Arizona Cardinals. Photo courtesy of thevikingage.com