What NBA players shouldn’t do during the lockout

Don’t:

Get out of shape:  It’s fairly common to hear about players of all sports who spent a lockout lounging on the couch eating junk like fried lard nuggets or drinking bacon grease.  Then, when the lockout ends, they wonder why they’re all of a sudden the slowest guy on the team, taking breathers every 30 seconds.  Do yourself a favor and use your mansion’s personalized workout area every once in a while.

 Go on Dancing with the Stars:  Do I really need to know how skilled a 6’10” power forward is at doing the tango?

Say stupid things on Twitter:  We should never have to hear about some no-name player sending out a tweet that compares him to an NBA legend (*cough* Jordan Crawford *cough*).  A word to the wise, buddy, lockouts don’t last forever and you’re going to have a target on your back once games resume.

 Change your name:  Ron Artest to Metta World Peace?

 Go to see the new Twilight movie:  This advice actually applies to the general public.